The Niji Legacy 2.3

[pohtaytohs]

 

Hi, pohtaytohs here!  Last update, Orenji got to go to his first day of school after having an awful birthday the night before!  Needless to say, his bus driver Brittany was a little...interesting.  That stupid-ass tub kept breaking over and over again, and the Nijis' crook of a repairman refused to fix it.  On the plus side, though, we got to meet Chris the prostitute!  =D  Kii and Orenji became inseparable friends, while Kathleen shooed toddler Sunset out of the room so she could have sex with her husband.  Carl the maid was absolutely amazing and aided Kathleen in giving birth to the third baby of the generation, Fanta.  There were about a billion birthday parties, and Kii blessed the family with the most amazing career reward EVER.  Orenji finally embraced his feelings for his pedophile bus driver and soon after aged into a teen.  When we left off, he had rolled Knowledge and it turned out that he was attracted to two out of the three party attendees.

...Also, just to warn you, this is an Orenji-heavy update.


Well, it's been established that Orenji thinks Lydia is hot.  Let's find out what she thinks of him!
 

It probably won't be very good things, I can tell you that right now.  Seriously, Orenji, you're awkward when flirting with girls.

Orenji: Um, you're cute...?  Eh heh heh...

Well, this is as good a time as any to give you Orenji's stats.

Knowledge
Reach Top of Journalism Career
3 Neat
2 Outgoing
10 Active (How this happened with two lazy parents I'll never know!)
10 Playful
7 Nice
Blonde Hair, Black Hair/ Cologne

Ugh, I'm already favoring Orenji and the other two kids haven't even grown up yet...  Seriously, though; I've never done his LTW before and I wanna see what the reward is!


Surprisingly, though, Lydia responds positively!  Maybe you'll become a part of this family soon, Lydia.  ;]

Kathleen: There is no way in HELL that I'm going to be a mother-in-law to that DEMON!

...Kathleen's excited about this development, as you can tell.


Well, now it's time to test the waters with Suzie!

Orenji: Hey, it's Suzie, right?  I wanna talk to you for a minute.


Suzie the waitress: *whispers*  Oh my god, Adora!!!!!  He wants to talk to me!  A total stud wants to talk to me!  Can you believe it?!


simmericangirl's Adora Rose: Yeah, I can, considering he's not even that cute.  Well, decide quick whether you wanna talk to that uggo or not.  It's your move.
 

Orenji: Are you sure it's fine that I interrupted your game?

Suzie the waitress: Oh yeah, definitely!  I'd much rather talk to you; I'm not a nerd or anything!

Orenji: ...I'm kind of a nerd.

Suzie the waitress: Uh, what a coincidence!  I am too!  Eh heh.....heh?  *is desperate*

Since Orenji had such good luck with Lydia and Suzie, I decided to have him invite Chris the prostitute over to see how things would go with her!

Orenji: Heyyyyyy, Chris!  Wanna come over to my place?  We have an awesome party going on right now...

Honey, I think you're gonna give her the wrong idea if you phrase it like that.


Chris the prostitute: Sure, I'll head right on over.  I charge a base fee of 50 simoleons.  Is that okay?

Orenji: Uh, no.  I'm not paying you anything to come over to my house.

Chris the prostitute: ...Do you want me to come over?

Orenji: Yeah...?

Chris the prostitute: Then you'll owe me 50 simoleons.  I'm coming over now.  *hangs up*

Orenji: *oblivious* ...I'll owe you for what??


Wow, no clients accompanying you this time, Chris?

Chris the prostitute: I cleared my schedule.  Orenji is my only client tonight.

About that...I think there might be a misunderstanding here...


Oooh, heyyyyyy!  ;]  Orenji, you, sir, are a manwhore in the making.


And I say "in the making" because he'd much rather play pinball than talk to cute girls.


He was so absorbed he didn't even notice that all the guests LEFT, much less that the party had been a huge success.


I pried him off the pinball machine and sent him downtown so he could explore all his ~options~.


...But first I gave in and let him buy a PSP or whatever that handheld video game shit is in TS2, since a bunch of his wants were to waste my money.  *sigh*


Oooh, pretty alien cashier!  Thoughts, Orenji?


 I see.  ;]  I think we'll pass on her, though, because I don't want any green skin in this legacy until the green generation.  (I love how I'm already acting like Orenji's heir...)
 

Hey, how about her?  She clearly knows how to handle a stick play some awesome billiards.


Really?  Are you sure?


Because somehow I'm not convinced.


Alright, what about this guy?  He's cute.


Orenji: What the hell?!  NO!  I'm straight!

Just like his father, this one.

 

After that I came up with the bright idea, "Hey, I know!  Let's have Orenji buy a cell phone and call the matchmaker so he can have a blind date right away!"


Too bad you can't call the fucking matchmaker from community lots.  UGH.  >X[

Cell Phone Advertiser: Ha, I just stole his money, bitch!


Oh well.  I had him call her as soon as he got home, though.


 CRAP, she's pretty!  DX  Must...not... age down!
 

Orenji: Hi, I'm Orenji Niji and I need a blind date.

Alice the matchmaker: Hi there!  =D  You know, I used to work with your mom.


 Orenji: Oh, really?  Might it be possible for me to get a discount then?  =D
 

Alice the matchmaker: Oh, hahahahahaha--NO.

Orenji: Damn.

Alice the matchmaker: Cash up front, please.


Alice the matchmaker: Thank you very much, good sir.


Alice the matchmaker: I'll just put this in my bra for safekeeping, just like your mother used to do.  ;D

Orenji: Please don't tell me anything else about my mom.  =/

So, who'd Orenji get for his date?

THIS hag.  >X[  Fuck you, Alice, just FUCK YOU.  Obviously you did this to me because you knew that I hadn't gone on an as-thorough townie-killing spree in the Uni subhood, didn't you?  (Yeah, this ugly bitch is a professor.)


Orenji's date #1: Ugh, where are all these flies coming from?!

*whistles innocently*


Orenji: Hmmm, I'm not sure...  *turns towards Alice*  Hey, Alice!  Any idea where these flies are coming from?

Alice the matchmaker: Nope.  =]

Orenji: Oh.  Okay then.


Orenji: *turns back to his date*  Yeah, neither of us know where those flies came fro-- Hey, where'd she go?!  8[


Alice the matchmaker: Oh, hey there, Grim.

Grim: Nice to see you again, Alice.


Kii: What's all the ruckus out here, Orenji?  =D


Orenji: Eh, nothin' much.  I'm just gonna go make a snow angel.

Kii: Oh.  Alright then.  =]

Orenji, don't mislead your father!


Alice the matchmaker: You know, I've never once regretted divorcing you, Grim.

Grim: And I've never regretted killing people for my job.  ...You're next, fyi.


Alice the matchmaker: What?! 


Kii: Hey, what's going on over here?

Grim: Hmmm?  Oh, some chick died.

Kii: Oh.  8[


Orenji wasn't lying when he said he was gonna make a snow angel.


By the look on his face, you wouldn't be able to tell his date just died, would you?


Orenji: Rest in peace, ugly old lady whose name I never learned.  -.-

Hey, no time for respect, Orenji!  It's time for your next date!  Let's see who the next lucky lady is!


Ugh, AGAIN?!  Well, she's not really ugly like the last one.  Maybe I should, oh, I don't know...
 

Dead Baby in the Corner: Miss me?

Of course we did.

Dead Baby in the Corner: Good, then take me inside or something.  The snow's up to my fucking thighs!

Sorry, no can do.  We require your services at the moment.


Orenji: Hi, nice to meet you!

Dead Baby in the Corner: *cackles evilly*


Orenji's date #2: Nice to meet you t--  HUH?!  O_O


Orenji's date #2: What's going on here?!

Dead Baby in the Corner: Don't worry, it'll all be over soon...


Orenji's date #2: Oh my god, I'm young again!  ...AND I'm wearing fingerless gloves!  This night can't get any better!


Orenji: *jams away instead of acknowledging the miraculous thing that has just occurred*


Hmmm, not bad.  I like her chubby cheeks.


But I guess Orenji doesn't share my opinion.


Orenji: Well, maybe... =D

Make up your mind!


Alright, that's a little more convincing.  I'll send her home if you really don't like her, I guess.


Dead Baby in the Corner: AGAIN?!

Hey, third time's the charm, right?  Also, I set Orenji up with a guy without telling him.  I figured maybe things would work better this time with a dude.


He's pretty good-looking, and even in the right age range, too!  =D  Let's send you two lovebirds downtown before Orenji realizes that his date has a penis!


I sent them to a club that served food, and this first thing I noticed was THIS.  XD  Guess Orenji's old date was a chef!  (I didn't even know those were contactable...)


Orenji: Hey, what gives?!  >X[  Nobody told me Orlando was a GUY!


Awww, c'mon, you wouldn't throw a hissy fit in front of your date, would you?

Orlando: Wanna play some catch?  =3




Orlando: Oh my god, you always drop the ball TOO?!

See, Orenji?  You too do have something in common.  Build up your relationship from here!


Hey, you ain't winning any beauty pageants yourself, lady.


 Seriously, by the looks of that makeup I'd say you were in the same profession as Chris.
 

Alice the matchmaker: Fancy seeing you here, Orenji.  What do you need?

Orenji: My date's going well.  I need protection.

Alice the matchmaker: What do I look like to you, Planned Parenthood?  How about a love potion instead, kid?

Orlando: Deal.


Well, they didn't have any bolts before, but things are sure going well now with the help of that potion.


But then again, love potion or not, who could ever say no to a face like THIS?  >w<


Orlando can, apparently.

Orlando: Uh, look, this is all happening too fast....I need my space.


Ouch.  That rejection looked painful, and not just because a heart is impaling your chin.


Orenji: I'm sorry.  I should've known better.  Let's start over, alright?  We'll take things slow.  I'm Orenji.  And you are...?

Orlando: Oh, alright.  I'm Orlando.  *giggle*

Orenji can be smooth when he wants to.  ;]


Orenji: Here's to the start of a lovely new relationship!

Orlando: AND to the fact that our waitress is finally coming over to take our orders!  =D


Suzie the waitress: What the hell is all this?! 

Uh oh.


Suzie the waitress: How could he play with my feelings like that?!

...You guys only talked, like, once.


Orenji: Yay, he finally let me hug him!  *does a little dance*


Orlando left complaining about his needs before I could get the meter to reach Dream Date.  =[

I looked around the club for other people for Orenji to chat up, and when I reached the DJ booth what I saw took my breath away!


I SAW THIS MAN.  NO, NOT A MAN.  HE'S A HUMAN ADONIS.  XD

C'mon, Orenji, you have to find this guy absolutely perfect, you just have to!


YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!  GO IN FOR THE KILL!


That's right, Human Adonis has a ponytail in addition to that awesome 'stache.  XD


Orenji: The moment I saw you, I wanted to rub your magic lamp!

Human Adonis: I could get into that.  ;D


Orenji: This relationship feels so wrong...


Orenji: ...but at the same time it feels so right!  *shivers*

...There's a reason I'm only showing this picture from the chest up.
 

These two like where this is going just as much as I do.


And to top it off, the human Adonis has orangey swim trunks!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guys tell how excited I am about him?


Pretty much as soon a Orenji got home it was time for him to go to school.  For some reason, he stopped dead in the middle of the doorway, completely ruining his corduroys.  >=[ 

What's the problem, Orenji?

Orenji: Brittany's not driving the bus today.  Brittany's not there.  Where's Brittany?  I CANNOT go to school without Brittany!


Sunset: Lighten up, man!  I like this bus driver waaaay better!  He's definitely less creepy!  =D


True, but he looks like a goat.  T^T


To make up for Brittany's absence, I let Orenji invite ADONIS over after he got back from school!

Human Adonis: What the hell?  Is this a dead baby in their lawn?

Dead Baby in the Corner: Sure is.
 

Human Adonis: *sigh*  What have I gotten myself into?

Oh, something totally awesome, I assure you.


See?  Your teenage lover-to-be is greeting you with the most equisite fashions!  What's awesomer than that?

(Seriously, Orenji, two pairs of glasses?!)


And here's another dose of awesome: my first penguin visitor EVER in my game!  =D


Kathleen: I bet we could sell you to the zoo for money!  =D

Nooooooo, Kathleen!  I don't wanna say goodbye to the penguin!  T^T


When I checked back on the human Adonis, I got a face full of butt.  What the hell is going on here?!


...Um.

Fanta: I think I'm in love!  =D

Aw hell naw!  Your brother saw him first and therefore he has dibs!  Do you hear me?!


And that concludes the "Mostly Orenji" part of the update, which as you could probably tell was the majority of it.

I decided to send Kii and Kathleen out on their first date that wasn't at home, because I want my non-clone child, dammit!  It only makes sense that Kath starts off the date with her favorite topic.


The next "romantic" part of their date?  Gossipping about their kids' friends, of course!

Kii: OMG, I swear that chick Chris is a hooker!  Bahahahahahaha--

Kathleen: What?!


Kathleen: You knowingly let our son consort with a prostitute?!

Kii: Um....am I in trouble?  =[

Kathleen: You didn't answer my question, bastard.


Awww, c'mon, Kath!  Just squeeze a piece of your husband's glorious ass and everything will be alright!


Oh hohoho, what's all this?


Just Kii finally getting that car sex he's always wanted!  =D  It was so powerful it knocked their car off the ground... and the roof off the restaurant.


Kathleen: You know, I actually kind of liked car sex!

I can tell.  You got the baby jingle on the first try.  ;]


After-sex dining and hand-caressing, anyone?

Chloe the waitress: Hey, you.  Yeah, you.  Look at me.  This couple's really cute.  =D

Um, thanks....?  ...Why won't you stop staring at me?


Awww, Kii's gotten really mature with age.  Now he doesn't even complain having kissy kissy time with his wife!


Back at home...

Sunset: Hey, get your ass off my homework.  I need to work on fractions.

Orenji: Bite me. 

A pile ol' pile of love, these two...


Sunset: Fine.  You won't move?  Then I'll sit as close as fucking possible to you until you leave.

Orenji: See if I care.


OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?  NO.  JUST NO.  I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE.


There.  That's better.  I used Kathleen's promotion money to get them a half-decent tub that doesn't break three times every single day.  And it's more orangey than the last one, so it's win-win!

Who's gonna be the lucky Niji to use the new tub first?


Orenji!


Forget what I said last update; Orenji definitely does not have his father's skintone.  His nipples are way pinker.  ;]


The next day I invited Sunset's friend Audrey over.  Audrey asked if she could bring a friend along with her, and I clicked yes.  I was reallllllllllly hoping that there were no more prostitutes in town...


...And there aren't!  =D  Audrey brought over this beauty named Shenene.  Okay, so when I first reinstalled TS2, she was the repairwoman that the game spawned.  I thought she looked cute, so once I got some CC I aged her down.  TURNED OUT SHE WAS GORGEOUS.  (Also, her name kind of reminds me of Shananay.)


Aww, Kathleen, isn't that sweet?

Kathleen: As long as she's not hanging with a prostitute I'm fine with it.


What just happened here?

Orenji: Oh, I was just telling Dad a funny joke about a man from Nantucket...

Kii: I can't believe the words that just came out of my son's mouth... I need to take a bath.  >.<

Orenji: Hey, Dad, where're you going?  Dad...?

Oh, Orenji, you know how your father feels about dirty jokes...


Oh, really?  ;]  I'll keep that in mind.


Despite their little spat earlier, Orenji is still a sweet older brother.  <3


Damn, she's workin' it!  Go for it, Orenji!  What's the worst that could happen?


...Oh.

Shenene: Look, this is just wrong, okay?  Technically I'm old enough to be your grandmother, and besides, you're underage.  I'm sorry.  =l

Orenji: ...Okay.  8[

Well, at least she wasn't a bitch about it, right?  Anyway, you still have the human Adonis to fall back on.


Of course this happens as soon as I replace the tub.  *sigh*  Okay, who did it?


Why were you messing with the sink, Shenene?  >=[  You don't even live here!


Good thing Kii has a decent amount of Mechanical points now, though.


Hey, it's Chris the prostitute!  What's she doing back?


Aha, she must be here for Fanta's birthday party!  ...Kii, you better not spray water on that cake, okay?


Chris the prostitute: HEY, ASSHOLE!  You never paid me!  >=[

Orenji: ...For what?!

He still has no idea.


Well, at least we have one normal party guest here.


Orenji: Seriously, why does she keep saying I owe her money?

If you haven't figured it out by now, then I don't think you ever will.


Time for Fanta to age--

Kathleen: HOLD UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

What?


Kathleen: *pops*  Oh, just wanted to let you know that I'm pregnant.  =]

Although I'm glad you're finally enjoying being pregnant, you're kind of being an attention whore.


Shenene: Ugh, can we get on with this?!  I'm tired and I've got a hangover!

...Where could you possibly have gotten booze from?


Well, Fanta's aging up.  But where's Kathleen?


Why, playing MyShuno with herself, of course.  -_-


Sunset: UGH!  She has the same hairstyle as that one drunk chick! 

Huh, you're right.  Well, she's due for a makeover anyway.


Obligatory post-birthday toilet shot!  =]


...How does she even pee in that?


Well, here's Fanta's cute makeover!


AND SHE'S GOT LEGWARMERS!!!!  =D


That's it for this update, guys!  But before we go, have a picture of Shenene sleeping in Kathleen and Kii's bed!  How this even happened, I have no idea.

Bye!